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Thursday, April 03, 2008 

Today was a rough day...

It seems like that's all I've been having lately. Today, was emotionally rough. I thought about my dad a lot. I thought about all the things we wouldn't be doing again. It just makes me want to cry all day. I tell myself to be positive and to know that he's in a better place. It's just hard. Tonight, is movie night. It's also Charles' night to play ball with the guys. He's getting ready for a tournament in a couple of months. He's excited about that and wants to practice. Me? I'm just under stimulated and bored. It was a overcast day and I don't think that helped my mood. I tried to keep myself busy with housework, but that only worked for so long. A quite house and no one to talk to isn't exactly helping. Charles, usually calls me throughout the day, but today he was busy with meetings. Oh well, I guess. I'll be okay. Tomorrow is another day and I do have to work. Work is always busy and I never have time to think while I'm there. I called my mom today. Her and I talk everyday for hours and sometimes it's more than once a day. She told me she was stressing about all the bills from the funeral. My dad had a hospital bill and an ambulance bill. She was in tears while we talked. She called the hospital and told them he passed (they should know he was there) and the women on the phone told my mom not to worry about the bill, they'd "eat" it. I keep telling my mom not to stress about the bills. They weren't married but we together for almost 40 years. She thinks she's responsible and tell her over and over again she's not legally responsible. If anyone is, it would be me. I wish she wouldn't stress like that. She just had her 60th birthday on March 29th. She had a good day, too. As soon as next month she'll be in NM and sharing a home with us. That's my plan. She slaves over my 71 year old uncle day in and day out. She's at his beck n call doing EVERYTHING for him. He can't do anything for himself and depends on her. He's got health coverage, but do you think he'd get a nurse to come in and care for him? NOPE! Why when it's free? He's got my mom to do it all. She hasn't told him yet that she's coming. She thinks he'll throw her out of the house if he knows about it. *Sigh* She's going to have to tell him sooner or later. I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I'm taking it day by day and everyday is different. I'm praying for strength and direction with what He wants me to do. More on Sunday...

Hey baby! I love you! I'm sorry you had a rough day yesterday! I know, but I really don't know what you are going through. All I can do is be here to support you, to love you, to listen to you. Know that I love you and will do my best to get you through this. Remember your Dad is in a way better place. I love you!

Yeah, I know. Just bare with me and I'll be able to smile when I say, "My dad" instead of cry. Love you, too.

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About me

  • I'm Hillary
  • From NY living in New Mexico, United States
  • I'm a Christian bride and blessed mom of two beautiful children. I got married to the love of my life on August 11th. We've been together for over 9 years. I was born and raised in NY and I miss my home. I love the sound of rain.:) I hate the smell of butter cooking.:-P I adore all types of animals. I have 2 cats that I love very much. I wish I could have more animals, but this is good for now. We also feed the birds outside and I have a squirrel that comes, too! We have to feed God's creatures! Everyone needs LOVE and food. :)
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